meeting dream boy

It is Sunday again. I reach out to James. He agrees to meet- he has a show at 2:30. We share coffee and strained conversation. He is preoccupied - 

He asks me to go with him to the show. I desire to see him play so I go. It is a ManKind ceremony to welcome initiates. James and Kris don't end up playing. I again am left to fend for myself in an unfamiliar place. The ceremony progresses. We eat. James and Kris play with the equipment, he looks and acts like a child. It is joyful to watch and hear. My desire is strong. The antibiotics are wrecking my belly. My GI track is a mess. I stopped the antibiotics yesterday after the GI issues arrived on Wednesday night.

They wrap up and James and I return in my car to Sbux. He is playful and flirty. He has obligated himself to busk with Kris. He is torn to come home with me. He is obligated to busk. He goes inside Sbux to change clothes. I am miserable, about to explode. I head home. 

In retrospect, this was the last time I saw him for a few weeks. The last time he stirred passion as he played with my chest. I miss him. I miss our conversations, our embracing, our lovemaking, our kissing for hours. He is a wonderful lover.